2 years:

“Nakesha!” I look over to see this guy waiving at me from across the courtyard at south, in my freshman year of high school. I was standing on one of the picnic tables and classes had just started (don’t ask why I wasn’t in class too, I should have been, oops), Sarah Holt was next to me and she said, “That’s Taylor Morgan, he just transferred here from North”. I had spoken to him over AIM before, but had never met him in person, which is funny to me because from the horror stories my parents told me about talking to people you don’t know on the internet, I RARELY did such a thing. For some reason, I made an exception for him and his best friend Malachi. We had a few classes together that year, including English with Trevor Campbell and Nick Schubert, I find this VERY amusing seeing as we all hang out now together as often as possible, who knew? Funny side story here, we were cutting up stuff in that class and some of the pieces of paper I wrote this on each: “I <3 U, <3 kesh”. I also told them all to save them forever. Trev and Nick didn’t save them (jerks! ;) but guess who did? Yep, my super cute husband. We still have it!

Fast forward to the end of my junior year and I was probably 6 months pregnant and I was talking to some friends and one of them touched my tummy and we were talking about how far along I was. Taylor walked by, bewildered because apparently he hadn’t heard the news that I was pregnant! Anyways, guess what that sweet husband said to me? “Nakesha, you are really glowing”. We’ve talked about this in the past and he does remember talking to me that day, but doesn’t remember saying that I was glowing and he says he has never heard the common phrase of “glowing while pregnant”, which leads me to believe that he really thought that. :)

So anyways, we graduated in June, and I started working at a coffee shop called Kaffeehaus over by south in the 76 gas station parking lot. One day I was making someone a coffee when I heard, “Nakesha!”, and I look over to see Taylor waving at me again! haha, BTW he denies either of these yells and waves ever took place, they did. Anyways, he pulled through, we chatted, and he randomly gave me this book he had sitting in his car and told me it was a good read and I should read it if I get bored. I remember thinking, “ok, I am not reading that but thanks anyways”. We exchanged phone numbers and he left. I did not touch that book for a month at least. haha! One day, as he had predicted, I was very bored and decided to give the book a try. Little did I know I would get addicted, read it in 3 days and call him immediately for the next in the series! We saw each other a few times in the upcoming weeks because I was addicted to those books. One day while I was just closing at work, he came in the stand and we chatted while I did some dishes. Somehow we got on the subject of children’s names and we both had some of the same ones picked out (I can’t even remember for the life of me what either of those are) and I joked, “Oh my gosh, we have to get married now, you must be my husband!”. Little did I know, he really would be!

I knew I was going to marry him about 6 days after we first kissed. You see, when I had Danika, I was so scared to marry someone because I didn’t want to marry the wrong person. A few weeks after I gave birth to Dani I asked God to give me a sign and show me who my husband was. It was only a few words, but I felt confident he wouldn’t let someone who wasn’t my future husband say that to me. For a year after Dani was born I was still with her dad, he never once uttered those words to me. Taylor said them the first week we were “together”. The phrase was “my girls”, anything along those lines I would be content with. I had told God I wanted Dani and I to feel like we belonged to someone so much that we would be his girls. When he said them my jaw dropped to the floor and I couldn’t believe it. Cheesy as it is, I knew he was my husband. I knew from the way he made me feel, and the connection that I’d never felt before. I knew we would get married!

Here is the list of requirements I had for my future husband:

  • Christian
  • Mature
  • A love for kids
  • A love for people
  • Outgoing
  • Committed
  • Super Kind <- haha yes, “super”
  • Giving
  • Driven
  • Right Morals

I didn’t make a list of physical attributes, but a list of must haves. Taylor is every one of those things. I’m so glad I didn’t settle. I just found something that he had said to me when we were dating and wanted to share :)

“I like when you look like this, when your hair is in a bun and your wearing my sweats. You don’t need to dress up you only do that when your trying to impress people. You made an impression on me.”

2 years and 8 days ago I married the man of my dreams. Here are a few reasons why I adore him:

  • He is so kind and compassionate towards other people. Always giving. I am not so much that way.. He is the first to share food, or grab the tab, or build others up. I glare if he steals a bite of my bread, I am stingy with being generous with money (working on it), and I try to build others up, but I think he is better at it.
  • Most men don’t change. No seriously, haven’t you ever stayed in a relationship because you are trying to change the man because you see the potential in them? Been there, done that. Men do not and will not change unless… THEY want to. That’s the key. This is one of my favorite qualities about him. From the very beginning, he has always changed for the better. He is always growing and learning and improving. He may not always get it the first time, but he continues to try, and that really says something about a man’s character. He doesn’t change because I want him to change, but because he knows that’s what the Lord asks of him. There is good change and bad change. Here is a tip for married couples, it took me a while to figure this one out and I wish I would have learned this sooner. Are you ready? Let your husband be his own man. I’m serious, you may think that’s obvious, or that you know what’s best for him, and a lot or even most times you may be right. But your man needs a wife, not a mother, he already has one of those. When I stopped telling him to dress like this, stop chewing like that, hang out with me every second of the day, pay the bills like this, etc… When I gave up control, he totally has exceeded my expectations, and I am a lot less stressed. Men that obey their wives and do everything they want them to makes me sad. There is a reason that men are supposed to be the leaders of their house holds, God designed them that way. So by women trying to take control of this, we are standing in the way of their full potential. Does this mean they are never going to mess up? No, it does not, and they will, and it’s our job to forgive and have mercy and to edify them. It’s so easy to say, “Well, I wouldn’t have done it that way, and it’s his fault”. Yep. It is his fault, so let him make his decisions. He is not going to learn anything from you nagging in his ear. Trust me, I have tried this and failed many times. By the way, another lesson I just recently learned that I wish I would have known sooner: Let him pay the bills. The thought of that may put you in a full fledged panic and psycotic episode like it did me, but it’s for the better. He makes the money, he decides where it goes. Whether this family makes it or breaks it is dependent on him alone. We do discuss finances and any purchase more then the cost of a dinner we talk to each other first, but ultimately it’s his choice. When he realizes this, he usually doesn’t want that _________ (insert tool he desires here) so bad. But by him paying the bills, he knows how much he has to make to get them all paid, and then HE realizes you can’t afford that tool, instead of you telling him he can’t. See, makes sense right? So simple, yet so hard for us women to understand.
  • He is not the most romantic guy, there I said it, we both know it, so now you do too! But in his defense, he gets better every day. A few weeks ago he got me flowers 3 times in one week! Occasionally he comes home with a coffee and today it was my favorite flavor of Jones Soda (Berry Lemonade). Some of you may know, but for our wedding favors we got personalized Jones Soda bottles for everyone (except Robin, HAHA!  Somebody stole hers, lol). Anyways, so thoughtful. See what I mean about changing for the better? Yep, he does that.
  • He takes care of me. Big time. We rely on his income for our bills, sometimes he works Saturday’s to make a little extra. He is a great provider for our family, and that blesses my heart (as well as my mom’s and dad’s!)
  • He totally believes in me. This is so big. He doesn’t see me as I am, but as who I can become. Of course I mess up daily, but he constantly encourages me to do better tomorrow. When I feel insecure, he tells me he has never seen anyone more beautiful than me, when I tell him I don’t have what it takes to be a photographer, he tells me he wouldn’t have bought me thousands of dollars in equipment if he didn’t think I was good, when I act like a brat, he tells me! This is good for me, because he requires more of me because he knows I can do better.
  • We are brutally honest with each other. I think this is the secret key to marriage. When I feel he is acting a certain way and I don’t like it, I tell him, when I’m in a bad mood, he tells me to snap out of it. He knows my secret crushes are Channing Tatum and Gerard Butler, I know he thinks Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johansson are bomb. Not that we rub that in each other’s faces, but we are honest. I don’t get my feelings hurt if he thinks a girl is pretty, I mean, I am the one he comes home to at night! ;) Honesty can hurt sometimes. We have all experienced it’s pangs, but we are better for it right? We know every detail about each others past and we may not even like it, but we know. There are no surprises. Of course we don’t tell each other things like that to hurt them, but to help in the long run. (It is possible I haven’t told him about a few coffee’s here and there. Or like the Taco Bell I had for lunch today that I wasn’t supposed to! ;) Also, we know forgiveness, although he is much quicker to forgive and forget than I am. But I’m working on that! When a spouse makes a mistake, we can’t hold things over their heads, that doesn’t help anybody.
  • We trust each other. Trust. That’s a hard one! I trust that he is going to stay faithful to me, he trusts that I will never look for love else where. Are we perfect at making each other feel appreciated at all times? I think both of us know that if we have an off day, or off weak for that matter, that our hearts are still at home. (Gotta be honest on this one and say that I’m VERY glad he does construction and doesn’t work with women, I think that would be hard.)
  • Now of course I gave you all the mental image that we are perfect and I have dinner made at 5 every day when he gets off work… HA! We are faulty! Did I mention I had to serve him dinner in one of Danika’s bowls because I haven’t done the dishes in a while and we don’t have any clean ones? haha :) We do make mistakes, twice we have had to climb our way out of credit card debt, we both get mad, we fight, I am strong willed and opinionated and he doesn’t always take out the trash the first time I ask. But if those are the worst of our problems than I think we have it pretty good.

I’m not even sure why I went into this much detail on this post. It started out with me just wanting to brag about what a stud of a husband I have, but in turned into my marriage advice?! Ok ok, I know I’ve only been married 2 years and I have SO much to learn so I shouldn’t be teaching this stuff, but these are definitely lessons I feel like people could learn from. Now that I informed all you women about my knight in shining armor, he better not receive any love mail ok!? ;) But in all honesty, I love him. He is my best friend, my other half, my supporter, my admirer, my lover, and my leader. I adore the man he is and the man I know he will become. I love you Taylor! :)

PS Here are a few pictures from our Anniversary trip to the coast :)

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Comments
2 Responses to “2 years:”
  1. Sarah fay says:

    I honestly think that you are not only a photographer but a writer- photo journalism could be your calling- I read everyword of every post! I hope to fond love like u have :)

  2. Robin says:

    Nakesha,
    You are so incredible! I know I tell you all the time, but I am just in awe of you every day. I love you more than words can say. You are such an amazing best friend and the 2nd luckiest woman in the world ;)
    I love that we are constantly growing in and with each other through all chapters of our life.
    I am so thankful God has blessed me with a life long friend.
    Thanks for all the advice and I will be sure to try and apply it!
    I love you I love you I love you!
    Love always,
    Robin

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